Writin' Forty

It's selfish, I admit it. But I'd love to see more black guys and girls at rock concerts. Rock comes from blues and rap comes from rock and house music. All music are a bunch of cousins, first or second. I wish people would see that. Most black people I know like rap and R&B. I know that's a broad generalization, so forgive me. I just want to see more black people when I go to a Starset show or a Breaking Benjamin show so we can bang heads with the white people and Hispanic folks and everyone else. That would be badass to me. It took me a little bit of time to accept that rock music is really just a part of who I am. Quick side note: any black guy my age who tells you they didn't grow up on rock is lying to you. Rap hit it big in the mid 80s and while there certainly was plenty of soul and r&b talent there was a lot of Eurythmics and hair metal bands too. We listened to it. I didn't really pick rock back up until the mid 90s. I went to the neighborhood h...

Didn't mean to go a month without writing something. I think I was waiting on something super awesome to come up but let's be honest about life: it's moments of excitement buffered by long periods of boredom. No one is super exciting every day but I do get those who want to be the adrenaline junkies and stay in that moment as long as possible. I can say that's never really been my life, though. If anything, I'm really hoping for a place to call home, physically and spiritually. Lately, I've found a joy in going to jiu-jitsu and making an effort to get back into really good shape. I also want to shake up any stagnancy in my life. I've gotten pictures framed that I've been staring at for months or years so I can hang them up and enjoy them. I'm going to get to that comic book room and put a TV up in there so I can say I did it. I'm probably not saying this well enough but I just want to do stuff. And I want the stuff to stick. I want stuff to e...

During college I had to read the book "Generation X". Can't remember who wrote it. Knowing my luck that's gonna be a trivia question this week. In the book the characters talked about what was their "takeaway"; what experiences from life they would remember. Often, it wasn't anything that would be considered enormous. For instance, one of the characters remembered being a kid in the car while their dad got out at the gas station to pump gas. They remembered how free they felt and how the gasoline smelled and how it just seemed like anything was possible. Whichever character this was, that was their takeaway. I had a takeaway a couple weekends ago. As an aside it's important to know that I am Auburn graduate. Auburn in Alabama, proud graduate and supporter of the football team in my own humble way. My friends and I had planned this weekend for what seemed like years. We would talk about it and talk about it and a season would pass and we wouldn...

For reasons that maybe one day I'll reveal there was a time in my life when I really just didn't want to feel anything. There's probably a time where we all feel this way because it's easier; if you don't feel you don't have to process. If you don't have to process, you don't have to deal with any part of what made you feel in the first place. With everything that's going on now there's no way I could be the only one to relate to that. My way of dealing with this was to become (what I felt was like) a Spartan: a warrior who was faced with formidable challenges but soldiered on; who could handle anything and, if he showed emotions or stress about the situation, you wouldn't know of it. The idea of a Spartan seemed comforting and something I could really identity with at the time. It occurred to me recently that maybe some part of that young man in me kept some part of that Spartan mentality. The reason this occurred to me because of jiu-ji...

I often wonder why Marshawn Lynch came back to the NFL. He was reasonably healthy. He had a lot of money because unlike a lot of NFL players he didn't spend it all while he played. But most of all was this: They showed this special about him on ESPN and what Marshawn was doing after his retirement. At one point he went to Scotland. He put on a kilt. He listened to men play bagpipes. There was a scene where a few gentlemen we're playing and Marshawn was kind of doing this dance and just looked so damn happy. Like, all the hits and the coaching and the injuries was completely worth it for this moment in his life. I thought about this moment because of this past weekend. Some college buddies and I planned for years to make a trip back during the football season to meet up. We talked and talked. It never happened. But for whatever reason it never materialized until this year. I could tell you a lot of little things that happened. Conversations. Dinner. Having the privilege of...

I wonder what it is about getting older that makes you care less in a good way. I'll explain in my long, meandering way. I have always liked to sing and have since forever. But no one knew it except maybe, like, Mom and a close friend or two. I'm not saying I should have some solo career or anything like that. Hell no. I meandered from the meandering. I'd sing with friends or in my room but that was it. I worked up the courage to sing at karaoke when I was 24. It took me being completely drunk to get up in front of people and sing "Inside Out" by Eve 6. 40 year old me wonders what the fuss was about. Even if I absolutely sucked and ruined the song the people listening got what they paid for. No one's life was at stake. I just took myself way too seriously. Many people do. Once I decided to care less, things got a ton better. Even better, it makes me feel pretty good to get up and sing a song a really like and if I do a good job? Even better. If someone tel...

It occurred to me as I was getting headlocked in jiu-jitsu class that I really don't like getting headlocked. Your head is being suffocated. I know being headlocked doesn't necessarily restrict your breathing but it does restrict your ability to move. Apparently, that's something I just. Don't. Like! No sir, you can have it, it makes me panic. Then I'm mad at myself that I'm panicking. It really is a whole damn thing. AND THIS WAS JUST PRACTICE! UGH. Believe it or not this doesn't really have to do with the title of this blog. When I was getting headlocked I was reminded that in the school I'm in we practice a lot of fundamental stand-up fighting scenarios: if you meet someone out in the street and they swing on you or if you meet someone and that grab your hands and back you to the corner and what not. I'm not completely unfamiliar with stand up but I'm not very good at it and this is getting more to the point of the title of the blog. The...