Writin' Forty

It occurred to me as I was getting headlocked in jiu-jitsu class that I really don't like getting headlocked. Your head is being suffocated. I know being headlocked doesn't necessarily restrict your breathing but it does restrict your ability to move. Apparently, that's something I just. Don't. Like! No sir, you can have it, it makes me panic. Then I'm mad at myself that I'm panicking. It really is a whole damn thing. AND THIS WAS JUST PRACTICE! UGH. Believe it or not this doesn't really have to do with the title of this blog. When I was getting headlocked I was reminded that in the school I'm in we practice a lot of fundamental stand-up fighting scenarios: if you meet someone out in the street and they swing on you or if you meet someone and that grab your hands and back you to the corner and what not. I'm not completely unfamiliar with stand up but I'm not very good at it and this is getting more to the point of the title of the blog. The

I'm starting writing this at a bar in Charlotte. A friend invited me out for drinks but he's presently distracted by another friend of his who will be a groomsman in my friend's wedding in South Africa. South Africa seems like a balla place to have a wedding. Anyway... The reason this friend of a friend is proving to be a distraction is because the friend of a friend has revelaed that he's not ok. It's not really my place to say why he's not ok. But he feels that he's starting to lose grip on the things that matter in his life and he's worried that everyday things an average person might take for granted he's going to start losing. Things like driving. Maybe, things like relationships. I did offer my words of encouragement but I know that this fight isn't mine to fight. I am really struck though, not by the friend of a friend but just in general: we are all broken. Literally everyone you see is hiding some pain small or some pain severe. An

With jiu-jitsu there is a certainty: if you get on the mats to roll, eventually you will get tapped out. There ain't a person alive who has chosen to learn the art that hasn't tapped many, many times. I tapped out yesterday. On the mats, no less. Just not the conventional way. This new school I'm in, man. I knew coming in that a school being run by a black belt was going to be run differently than a school run by a purple belt or a brown belt. How so? Well, a black belt will generally have more experience than any other person on the mat. It also means, if that black belt had been in the area a while, he's training people and those people get better as well. People who move into the area want to come where a black belt is to learn how to train. So by the time a lowly white belt such as myself comes to this established school run by a black belt who happened to be trained by a person who is basically a founding father of jiu-jitsu? You are gonna get WORKED. The las

So far in life the biggest responsibility I've had is being a base commander while in the Air Force on a small island in the middle of nowhere. I had about 250 folks to take care of. I dealt with local police as well as administration and I also dealt with another country's Air Force. It was awesome. Literally anywhere else in the world I would have worked and been called "Major". There, I was "THE Major". Now, being called a cool title is nice but it means nothing if you're not working every day to earn it; it doesn't take much for that grand title to be said sarcastically. So I worked. I went to battle in support of and alongside my people every day to reinforce to them, to reinforce to myself that I was worthy of the title I was bestowed. That was over 3 years ago, though. I suppose being a leader is like being a dad. Once you start you can't really ever turn it off again. I see so many things happening now and it makes me feel sad and h

If you ever want someone to join something you gotta give them a win to start. Years ago my roommate Jeremy wanted me to play EverQuest. I didn't want to play EverQuest. Jeremy, who speaks approximately 14 words a day, wasted about half of those to stress how he really wanted me to play because it would be fun. I still didn't want to play. Next day, 7 more words. He really wanted this and I really didn't so I decided a clever way to get him off my back: "Fine. I'll play EverQuest if you watch wrestling with me, Raw and Smackdown." Jeremy went silent.  I had him. What, I can't watch wrestling because I'm a grown man with no kids? Pfft. Don't judge me. Anyway, Jeremy didn't want to watch wrestling, I knew it. So I won. Time passes. It's the following Monday and I'm about to watch RAW. I smile to myself because no Jeremy. Then I hear footsteps coming down the stairs. It's Jeremy. Jeremy, who takes a seat on the other end of the

Since I was a kid I wanted to be a leader. I'm not sure why. I can't talk to young me to ask but more than telling people what to do or boss people I liked the idea of how to take care of people. I remember even with a group of my friends a decision like "where are we going to eat?" could paralyze the whole group. Hell, I'll make that decision! It can't harm anyone, let's just go eat! People seem afraid to make decisions. I don't know if it's because they're afraid of being wrong or afraid of the consequences of someone not liking the decision but generally speaking people do not want to make them. I never cared. Things don't move unless people make decisions. I knew that much then. I know that much now. Don't get me wrong, if you're a leader you better make correct and smart decisions most of the time. But given the choice of making no decision at all or make any decision? Make a decision. Anyway, leadership has been on my mi