What Next?
It has been forever and a day since I wrote and I could make any number of reasons why. Ultimately, you make time for the things that are important to you and clearly, this wasn't something that was important to me, right? Ehhh...maybe.
I would have thoughts about this or that and then just not commit. I would get in my head and think that no one would want to read for the 718th time about some lesson I learned from jiujitsu. I still do that, by the way. I got brown belt this January. In a whole lot of ways that shit is absolutely crazy to me. I earned it the way that you're supposed to earn things, with blood and sweat. And as the case is with any promotion you get it not because of what you've done but much more with what you can do. Almost a year in and I'm still figuring out what that means and the journey of that is allowing me to grow.
That growth is going to come into play very soon because for some reason this country elected Donald Trump for president, again, and this time it just feels...different. Exponentially worse.
In that it's been forever since I've wrote here it's worth mentioning that at the start of 2023 I made the decision to get in the best shape of my life. Something in me, I have no idea what (let's call it premonition) told me that I needed to get in the best shape of my life. And while that's always a work in progress, get in some good shape I have. I went with a dietitian and got the diet straight; that was the key. I'm walking around under 240lbs and dropped the body fat by 5-6%. I have worked on my flexibility and in that I have found that your body holds on to physical stress and emotional stress too. I have worked on letting go of a lot of stress and pain from the past; I can keep the scars but there's no need to keep carrying the pain. I guess a great way of saying it is I'm learning to let go. I'm learning how to process.
And again, that's where this Trump thing comes in again. In so many ways. I had many thoughts about writing stuff about the dude. What a clear a present danger he is. What an absolute black hole of a human being he is. The absolute vacuous cult of personality that he has created in so many people, bringing about the absolute worst in people. Admittedly, I was afraid that if I wrote unkind words that people might find out I did it and I would get blowback of some sort.
Well, a part of my personal growth has me trusting in myself more than ever before (and to be frank, I have so, so far to go with that. I'm learning to not be afraid of my power) and to stand up and not be afraid of what I do and say and trust that the connect between my brain, my heart, and my mouth are going to be in concert. All of this is to say that I have a whole lot of things to say about Donald Trump and how everything is probably about to go to shit very, very quickly as a result of a whole lot of people who have been deluded by a conman.
Because rather than hold in the pain that it's caused me, I think a better outlet will be to write about it. Keeps me from having as messed up of a back and maybe I can help shed some light for people. Or not. But it will be cathartic for me. And a catharsis is what I need.
Watch this space.
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