Perfect

I think we all deserve happiness. Meaningful, genuine happiness. It just takes time. Last weekend, I may have seen an example of two people getting exactly what they deserved.

I’ve known Doug for well over 10 years. While I know I’d seen him before I remember, distinctly, our first interaction: I’d noticed…hmm, how do I say this? I noticed an emotional tell of Doug’s and I let him know about it. What can I say, I’m very good at observing when I choose to be. This surprised Doug, I think. No, I know. You know how I know? Doug is about one of the most straightforward guys that you’ll ever meet. He’s also one of the smartest. What you see is very much what you get and what you get from Doug as a peer and friend is a loyal person with a good heart. Sooner after my observation we became friends.

I could argue that we became near best friends because we hung out quite a dang bit over the next year and half. Doug got to meet my girlfriend at the time who is now my wife (and also thinks super highly of Doug, good thing for me my wife likes my friends, yay!) We hung out at the Flying Saucer in San Antonio a lot for beer and trivia and Brindle’s Ice Cream next door. We went to karaoke at Rembrandt’s I believe it was called. We’d go to lunch quite a bit, usually going to Starbucks after. We had a regular Sunday morning thing and while we did go to Egg & I a time or two it all started at Cracker Barrel, where we became regulars. We had a lot of good times together. In fact, had I not predetermined who would stand beside me at wedding years before Doug would have been right there beside me. That is an absolute fact.

All of this means that I got to learn a little bit about Doug. He’d had his heart broken before. When you’re a guy with an open heart that happens and Lord, don’t I know that? Doug always had his mind on finding that one special woman. Over the course of the time I knew him he’d open his heart feeling he’d found the right one and no, it wasn’t his time yet.

Being the friend he is about 2-3 years ago, Doug drove to visit me when he was back in San Antonio and I lived in Victoria, TX. That’s about a 2 hour drive. Oh yeah, Doug was on painkiller for a back injury. Honestly, y’all, I was going to come visit him but Doug was already on his way. The visit was a great one, we sat at my place and Miranda, Doug, and I got to go out to eat at Victoria’s finest (Applebee’s) but the one thing that really stuck out to me was it seems that Doug had kind of given up on finding that certain someone; his push was going to be to marry his career. I remember being sad about that, not that he wasn’t going to be excellent at what he does in his daily job, he already has been and still is. It’s that he set a time parameter on something that is so intangible; so undefinable. 

Y’all, let me tell you something. I’m not a genius at love or relationships, not even in the least. I can only tell you what I’ve been told or what has been told to me. Dad and Mom would tell me a lot growing up that it wasn’t time for me to do what my older brother was doing; I had to wait my turn. Love often works the same way. You think you’re ready NOW. You think you want nothing more than to find that one, that special someone RIGHT NOW. No. it’s not your time. 

I wanted to tell Doug this then but it wasn’t my place and trust me, I’m at the point in my friendship with Doug that I could tell him straight up what I thought (and have) but it’s hard to tell someone to hold on when the other person thinks there’s nothing to grasp. 

Sure enough, Doug moved back to Las Vegas and shortly after…you know how it is when something pops up on Facebook like a new relationship status when you haven’t heard from someone in a while and you’re like whaaat? Doug was dating someone named Erica.  Of course, I asked him about it and yep, this was a thing. And then, it was a THING: engagement. Whoa. 

Turns out that Erica was someone who literally walked in Doug’s office and hey, looks like it was both of their turns; the wait was over. I’m betting I could ask questions to them both about details but I don’t need them. I did find out during the wedding from the maid of honor how much Erica excelled at everything she did; driven to a competitive degree that her mom worried no one would ever be good enough for her. Then she found Doug. The rest is history in the making.

Almost. I was honored because Doug asked me to be a part of his wedding as a groomsman. Accommodating gentleman that he was, he didn’t make me shave my beard to put on my Air Force Mess Dress, instead renting a lookalike suit for me (that got me many compliments) that I adapted into a mock mess dress. I also have to add I’m not a jerk here, I did tell Doug if he wanted me to I would shave my beard for him! 

The rest of Doug’s party, with the exception of his brother who was best man, were from Doug’s military life as well as the Air Force Academy. Some I knew or had met. It was of absolutely zero surprise that we all got along famously. I had mixed feelings because I wish that I were still in the Air Force fighting the good fight but the good thing, the great thing is that there are men who still serve that are good men and now, good buddies of mine too. 

It’s also worth mentioning that people came from literally across the globe to see Doug and Erica get married: Germany and Korea! Doug and Erica did an amazing job of honoring Doug’s Korean relatives, it was touching and amazing. People came from around the globe to see these two great people find each other.

It’s certainly worth mentioning that in the time I’ve known Doug I have never seen him cry or choke up. That changed on his wedding day and that said so much to me about how he felt and what he found. I didn’t tell him the last thing I said to Erica before I left them was “I’ve never seen him so happy, you’ve done a great job!” 

Last thing. There was karaoke at Erica and Doug’s reception, crazy kids that they are. Just my luck, I was coming down with some sort of crud and was afraid I would get up to the mic and sound terrible, particularly after Doug had talked me up over the week as far as my karaoke skills. I was still going to make a go for it but the karaoke idea was so popular and so many people showed up to sing that they ran out of time before my song came up. The song I would have sang would have been “Perfect”, by Ed Sheeran. 

Maybe they get to hear me sing it in person. I hope that’s one day soon. Because, while I know that sometimes you have to wait your turn, the time in between seeing the true friends you make in this life can seem like an eternity. But when your number is called, man, is it worth the wait. 

Congratulations Doug and Erica! I couldn’t be happier for you.