Pause/Play

It occurred to me that I haven’t written about my trip to San Antonio, TX a few weeks back. Not sure how or why I forgot because at least two significant things happened to me, singularly, in that time: One, I put on a military uniform for the first time in almost 4 years and two, I had to shave off my beard in order to put on that military uniform.

I knew this day was coming and have known it for years. About 3 years ago I reacquainted myself with my buddy Sean and he told me then, authoritatively so, that he wanted me to preside over his retirement ceremony. Let’s pause here:

The reason of Sean choosing me is important because there simply aren’t many people who make it from any branch of service to an official retirement, which is (normally) a period of over 20 years: when you get to that point you get to “call your shot” as to when you retire and who does it. People who perform these ceremonies usually are people of a high position or rank that the retiree respects. I retired as a Major, which isn’t a super high rank. When I met Sean, I was an active duty Major and he was a Technical Sergeant and we were at the Pentagon, where walking past generals and the highest of enlisted rank is an everyday occurrence. Sean’s job was to network in one way or the other so between that and his 24 year career I know he has met many people who have higher rank or better pedigree than me. That he asked me to retire him meant a ton. It was truly an honor. Let’s press play.

At the start of the year, Sean and I challenged each other to lose weight before his big day. He told me he’d lose 50lbs and I told him I would lose 35lbs. At the time that meant I’d get down to 235. I didn’t quite get there, I wound up around 237, but I was super proud of my effort. Sean was sidetracked by a hernia surgery on his goals but the important thing is that he made it to retirement! 

There were also questions on what the venue of the retirement ceremony would be. At one point there was talk of having the retirement at a gun range. At one point there was talk to have every one dress in everyday civilian attire (which meant I would have to shave my beard so I was all for this choice!). There’s also a big component I haven’t mentioned yet: there’s another person who retired on the same day as Sean. Time to hit the pause button again (!):

When Sean told me he was retiring and I would be presiding over his ceremony he had not yet met the acquaintance (soon to be friendship, soon to be brotherhood) of Rob, another Master Sergeant winding down his career. Sean and Rob had a few things in common: they both are big fans of UFC, they both like shooting guns, they both are close to the same age so they both spoke dinosaur. (If they ever read this, they’ll laugh at that, trust me.) They began hanging out and as hanging out often does, a friendship formed. I came into the picture as I would visit Sean to watch UFC pay per views and started noticing Rob was there every time. Rob seems about as straight as they come in what he likes and what he does not; to be honest more people should probably be like that but it’s a complex world. I just happen to like simple people. Let’s press play.

I wasn’t involved on the decision but I’d imagine at some time Sean and Rob began talking about retirement from the Air Force and I’m going to imagine that Sean came up with the crazy idea of the two retiring on the same day. Time, once again, for the pause button:

There aren’t many people in the military who reach the time required for an official retirement. Usually that’s a period of about 20 years. Normally, it’s a very personal and proud thing once you’ve made it that long and the ceremony is all about you. I’m sure that in the course of the history of the Air Force there has been such an instance that two people have had an official retirement ceremony at the same base on the same day and I’m also sure that’s a rare occurrence, even as large as your typical base is. So it’s even rarer that two individuals in the same unit within a base (there are many units within a base, I’m speaking very generally) reach the requirements to retire and then decide to have a retirement ceremony, together, on the exact same day. I’m sure that it’s happened before in the course of the history of the Air Force. But it’s an absolutely bonkers concept, to say the least! Let’s press play again.

Sean told me that Rob and he were going to do the ceremony on the same day and they wanted me to preside over the whole thing. I laughed and said ok. I have a pretty practical approach to stuff like this and I have the Air Force to thank for this: one way or the other the issue is going to be taken care of. Got a mountain to climb? Yeah. Ok, let’s start preparing for this mountain climbing thing. Once the day comes, we climb. And really, in this whole thing my job was to show up and lead the expedition; the sled dogs and rations and Sherpa guides were being done for me. If you didn’t get that metaphor, my job is to show up and speak. All the setup was being done before I got there. But I did need to prepare to speak.

I’m fortunate. One of my jobs in the Air Force was as an instructor. That’s relevant here because I’m used to talking in front of people; while I always get a small case of nerves to begin with I don’t have any major heartburn in doing it. That said, my training as an instructor also lets me know I need to be prepared for the topic I’m going to discuss. One more thing going my way is that in my, in anyone’s, military career I have seen a lot of retirement ceremonies (I’ve personally done two myself and was a part of another one) and I have picked up a few good pointers on what to do and what not to do. You need to look at the person’s performance reports. You need to tell an interesting story from those reports. To begin his retirement ceremonies one of my former bosses, Stan, used to include a fun fact about the enlisted or the commission date of when the retiree joined up. I borrowed that from him. Oh yeah, I’m doing this for 2 people at the same ceremony! I have to make sure to talk about their careers but not so long that I lose everyone in the audience.

It always pays to put a personal touch into whatever you do but man does that apply with retirement ceremonies. Sean and Rob chose me to do this and I wanted them to look back on this day fondly. I made sure to ask Sean to tell me what he thought of Rob and vice versa. I asked them both what they thought about certain aspects of their careers. I made sure to include this in my speech. 

Then there’s the part of putting on the uniform again. The last time I put on the uniform, service dress, I was retiring from the Air Force myself. The pause button is getting some work today:

I was allowed an early retirement from the Air Force but I can say that unlike Sean and Rob I did not call my shot in doing so. I was at the end of a remote assignment and was told I either had to retire or separate from the Air Force by the end of the year, a period of time that was less than half a year. This was after I’d already made plans to move to my next assignment, an area I was not familiar with at all, from an area I was very familiar with. This was putting an abrupt close to a career that had lasted all of my adult life. This was…jarring, to say the least. I was very upset about it. To say the least. I know that very few people get to call their own shot…maybe I was foolish enough to think I might be one of those people. Regardless, I wasn’t, and my retirement ceremony was something that I had to be coerced into doing. I don’t regret doing it, don’t get me wrong. But man was I emotional that day. Putting on that uniform as an active duty officer for the last time felt so heavy. As soon as all the pomp and circumstance died down and it was time for me to read the little speech I prepared I felt the tears coming and I couldn’t stop them. I told a story of how I tried my best to take care of my people anytime I had people to take care of and that maybe the time I came into the Air Force wasn’t “my” time because in some ways, in the right time frame (I think) some may have thought my career was good enough to at least finish out the traditional 20 year retirement. I said my peace, people heard it. Some told me they’d never forget my words. I’m honestly not making that up. That was my last time in uniform before I put it on again for Sean and Rob’s retirement. Press play.

Putting on that uniform was like putting on old skin. There have been times since I’ve been out of the Air Force I would have begged to go back in but I put on that service dress and while the military will never fully leave me I’m more convinced than ever things happen for a reason. That said, I was super proud that the uniform was actually LOOSE on me! It never felt like that while I was in!

I should mention my beard as well. (assume I hit pause again. I’m a nightmare to watch a movie with) What an unintentional, silly thing that turned out to be! I have fully grown out a beard before only twice before the promotion ceremony: once was after my retirement ceremony. I went full rebellion and did not get a haircut or shave for six weeks straight until the Friday before I started my first civilian job in Victoria, Texas. I looked homeless. I also took my photo for my retirement ID after about 4 weeks of that look and maybe that was a sign of things to come. The second time was after I lost that job in Victoria and I again started growing a beard out of rebellion, only this time I met a barber named Bailey who offered to cut my hair for free. I went to his shop and next thing I know he’s shaping up my beard, which has literally never happened before. I got up from the chair and looked at it and holy crap it actually looked decent! This could actually be my look! And so it was. And so it has been until it was time to shave it. When it came I told my barber to just take it all off; I’d prepped him that it was going to happen at least a month out. It happened and man, my face was cold! I came into the house and the first thing I noticed was the air conditioner hitting my face. I also noticed I had to wipe my lips without lifting my mustache which was super funny when I’d try to lift a mustache that wasn’t there. 

Regardless of all of this, the day finally came. Miranda and I flew out to San Antonio. We get to the venue and I walk in like I own the place. Not really. But people, the protocol office, were expecting me. I was not able to come to the walkthrough of the ceremony and so I had to get up to speed very quickly on what we were doing. Let me tell you something I have always loved about the Air Force: if there’s a task to get done it’s going to get done. We’re going to make it work. This was definitely the case with everyone putting together such an elaborate ceremony and such was the case in getting me briefed to get this thing done. It was so weird having people immediately calling me sir again but it was great that as soon as I walked through the door business was getting taken care of and taken care of well. 

The ceremony went off, well, with a few hitches but not that anyone would know to look at it from the outside in. Sean was wearing an extra pair of pants from Rob. Rob is easily 4-5 inches taller than Rob so the pants were super long on Sean. No one would be looking at his shoes so they wouldn’t know that. I missed a command to issue the retirement orders. No one would know that really. Rob was super stiff in his delivery and I could tell he was holding back pride/tears. Sean abruptly cut his speech off because he was going to start crying. I did shed a few tears talking about how Sean told me years ago that he chose me for this honor. I didn’t mean to, it just happened. I shouldn’t call that a hitch either, because several people told me it meant a lot to them to see honest emotion. Overall, the ceremony was a success. 

I was thanked by both Sean and Rob for being there but really, being there was its own reward. If you have someone or some people in your life who wants you around and who wants you to be the person to tell their story when it’s their time to call it a day you’re a blessed person and even more so,  you’ve made a true friend in life. Somehow, in this case, I’m able to say it twice.