Love Story

I’m a blessed man, as much as I’d like to think otherwise sometimes. One of the ways that I am blessed is that I am good at making friends. I learned long ago that there’s a difference between a friend and an acquaintance; I, for whatever reason, have never had a hard time in making friends wherever I have lived. A happy consequence of that is I have been a part of a LOT of wedding parties, once as a best man (technically twice, but only one of those marriages count in my mind—that’s another story) and many times as a groomsman. 

My two and a half year stop at Victoria, Texas was no exception to the first paragraph and in the case of my newly married friend, James (and, it has to be said of course, his wife Shelby), it made for a very interesting story to tell wedding goers as to how we met: he was a bartender and I was a patron. I mean, most of the time it’s “I went to school with this guy” or “I served in the Marines with this guy” or “This is my family, so kindaknown him from birth!” Me? “He was serving me drinks!”

More into that story and it speaks to why James and I became friends: he worked at a bar in Victoria that I frequented. I was about 15 months into my Victoria stay and was lamenting to the manager of the bar how I had been here a while, that I don’t suck, and can’t even meet a buddy to go out and have a drink with me to even begin the process of making friends. I didn’t know James was listening but sure enough he chimed in and said “Hell, I’ll have a beer with you!” and wrote his name and number down on a piece of paper. True to his word, a couple of days later he called and a few days after that, we had the first of what would be many drinks together.

That meant a lot to me at the time. Victoria is a very insular town. You cannot make friends easily there; if you’re in town for a few days or weeks no one is going to take the time to get to know you. They already have their own friends and circles. If you are going to stay a while eventually people will warm up to you. James, for the most part, was the first person who even took the time to invite me anywhere to do anything. 

James had his adventures, leaving Victoria to return home to even smaller Port Neches near his hometown to eventually make his way into the Marine Corps. And this is where you start to realize how someone might become your friend. I made it a point to reach out to James while he was home to see how he was doing. When he came down to visit Victoria, he’d let me know he was around. I had a trip to Slidell, Louisiana and made a point to stop and see him at home. When he went off the boot camp, I made a point to write him a few letters. And so on and so forth.

I came up a couple of days early to spend time with James before the wedding and I’m glad I did. One of the really interesting things about being a part of a wedding party is you get to see all of the parts that make up the person who is getting married. I got to meet James’ folks and his closest friends; the culmination of this was in the quiet period before the wedding, we were sitting in a room upstairs with drinks and a pool table and his friends and family listening to country music. There just happened to be a wedding we were getting ready for in an hour or two (which, now that I think about it, just adds to the awesomeness of the day for James, I’d imagine…)

The wedding itself was a lovely affair. James wore his dress blues and Shelby look stunning. There looked to be one hell of a rainstorm coming our way, delaying the wedding, but sure enough there was a window of time that opened up where we could have the wedding outdoors, which is what Shelby wanted. And if you can give a woman her day the way she wants that is exactly what you should do! The groomsmen did their best to keep James loose and it helped some but there were a lot of happy tears shed: as James thanked his groomsmen for being there, as he got to hold his soon to be wife’s hand (without seeing her) before the wedding, and finally, as he saw her walk down the aisle. Shelby wanted everyone to sit down as she walked so the main person to see her walking up was James. That was a nice touch and was really cool.

The reception was just as fun. The DJ got the entire audience involved. My personal favorite was the DJ finding the oldest couple in the room to give advice to the newlyweds and the wife of that couple told them her secret to staying married for a long, long time: Keep his belly full and his balls empty! That was one of the realest moments I have ever seen in a wedding! There were many other really cool and touching moments and it put the final touches on what turned out to be a fun and exciting wedding.

Life is kinda funny sometimes. You’re born into this world naked and cold and you die alone; generally becoming more and more isolated the older you get. In between those two extremes it’s up to us to find ways to connect; to find people who want to make sure you’re not alone on your journey as long as possible, to root for you along the way. 

I’m glad to have found a friend in James and couldn’t be happier he found someone that I hope shares his journey in a way that no one else can.