Writin' Forty - Let's Get It

I've given it a good deal of thought and I think I should write every now and again. I've hesitated on doing this so many times and I think what it boils down to is that I'm afraid. 

I've always been a risk averse person. If I think it's gonna put me out there too much chances are I'm not going to do it much or at all. I'm the dude you might see with a camera at a party but the reason I'd have it out is to show someone I was AT the party. I wouldn't do it to highlight one person in particular to show they were there, if you get my drift. 

That's also another part of my fear. I worry if I talk about my life or the things around it I get other people involved in whatever craziness that I'm accomplishing by writing this in the first place. I guess that's like taking my party picture and accidentally catching the dude or girl who told their significant other they'd be somewhere else that was not that party. You get what I'm saying, I hope. I don't want to get anyone in trouble with what I decide to do. 

Contradicting my risk averse nature I am opinionated as all hell. Over the course of time I've learned to at least silence myself and notice what's going on around me while keeping my opinion to myself, but there are times where I feel I need to hand everyone my two cents. It's been that way since I was a boy and it's unlikely to change now. Maybe that's why I keep getting the itch to write. Maybe I just need to tell people what's on my mind. Maybe I'm afraid what people will see me as if they do know. 

I know I want to be good at something. I'm forty years old and to be completely honest and open I don't know what I'm good at. I'd like to think I was a good officer in the Air Force but can you tell people that who you meet? 

Them: I'm a good mechanic! I fix cars and trucks of all conditions of disrepair.

Me: I was a good officer. I, uh, told people what to do? Could you fix my car? It's in a really bad condition of disrepair. 

I'm a good smartass. I'm a good friend, I think. But does that add up to anything? I don't know. I'm afraid that it doesn't really. 

One of my best friends wanted to be an artist. I have drawings that he gave to me from college. A few years ago he decided to start drawing again and did it daily. Every day he drew something. About 2-3 years later he's going to comic book conventions and selling his art. He's drawing stuff for kids. People are genuinely happy to see his artwork. 

I've sat there with him at a convention and have seen kids ask for advice on how to start drawing. He tells them a few technical things but his main point is to START DRAWING. It's gonna suck at first but that's ok, keep doing it anyway. 

In the best way possible, I'm jealous of that. I couldn't care less about he money he makes or doesn't make. I care that he had a passion and he intensely, ardently, pursued it and the light that came from his passion is something he can share with others. 

So combine all this stuff I've said. I'm risk averse. I'm afraid. I want to be good at something. I want to write. 

Maybe it's high time I get started then. Let's get it.